worms and sledgehammers

Things have taken a downturn. I have found that my attitude can be very offensive to some people, namely the teachers that I have been observing with. I left Dimmick on what I thought were good terms to try Northbrook because of the different program. After three and a half hours of being there the principal called me on my cell phone at about four thirty in the afternoon telling not to come back there again. The reasons that she gave were not very good ones, and they were all things that were previously worked out with the teacher that I observed with that day. So, I decided to call Dimmick again and see about going back there, and the teacher was quoted by the principal as 'she would rather not'  have me observe there again. I also received my midterm eval from her yesterday in the mail, because the teacher didn't have the time to fill it out in front of me while I was there; so she mailed it. One of the comments that she wrote was "Mr. Moore seems to have difficulty collaborating with other adults in the classroom setting." Which, being that she was the only adult, it must have meant that I wasn't being very cooperative with her. It's hard to explain. But yesterday was a hard one to get through, because I had the rather not phone call as well as the evaluation. One of the things that Ed brought up yesterday was how God has tried to get my attention on my arrogance (I told him that other people use that word to describe me, he wasn't the first to say it) and now with this whole thing, it's like God used a sledgehammer. So I asked the question, jokingly, 'If God was all-powerful, could He make a sledgehammer so big that even He Himself could not hit Eric Moore with it?"

Which brings me to this morning. I woke up at 5:50 a.m., right on the dot, because I needed to use the restroom. So I go downstairs and go to the bathroom. And wouldn't you know it, I climbed right back into bed because I was cold and one of my nostrils was clogged so I was going to lay with it on top to clear it up. I didn't get up until probably quarter or so until 8. The force of habit is extemely powerful. I thought to myself today, God really opened up a can of worms when He commanded us to be holy. Obviously God likes worms, but I wonder how big the can is. Maybe the sledgehammer He has can help out with this situation.

Today I feel overwhelmed and discouraged. This isn't the first time that I've been made aware of my attitude problem, but this is one of the hardest things that's resulted from it.

I need to go now, because I have to study for quiz tonight, but more importantly, I need to turn things over to God. I'm lazy, stubborn, arrogant, rebellious, and I'm tired of carrying that weight on my shoulders.